THEME PARK GUY CALLED ME!!!!

I really am starting to feel like Ron Burgundy when he loses his mind...

I just turned down that au pair position with that family. Probably the stupidest choice I've made so far in my life. I need to start listening to my own heart instead of what people think I feel or think I should do. 

I asked a lot of people about my decision and I had a really large mix of opinions and I guess it made it a lot more difficult for me to decide. It's funny, I still remember leaving that interview and getting to the train station and just wanting to cry. I knew I had to take it, I was just scared about the move into a family's house I hardly knew anything about. Yet, I was still more than willing to try it. I could have done that and I would have been fine and happy and I would have worked things out. But I turned it down for some odd reason I'm still trying to figure out in my head. Not only was that the only employer thus far that was cool with the fact I had no bank account in the UK, they were going to deposit the money directly into my US account. They were also cool with the fact that I could only work for 5 months (for visa reasons, my need to leave the country) and were even willing to help me figure out a way to extend it. 

I turned it down. 

I told her that I wasn't sure I could commit to her for 5 months because I felt I should start looking for employers that would sponsor me for a longer period of time and I wouldn't feel right leaving her family before the 5 months were complete. It wouldn't be fair.

OMG, what was I thinking, no one is going to hire me!!? Have you seen the economy?! 

Spain

England

USA

I need to start listening to myself. It's fine, I need to just get past this. 

My issue is, I know nothing is going to give me what that family was willing to offer me. I can't be picky at a time like this. 

On a lighter note, Theme park guy randomly called me back. I'm meeting with him on Thursday. 

I also have 5 other interviews to go on, although I'm this close to calling them all off by explaining my situation so they can all just tell me to go home. What did I just do? 

YIKES! 

I need more 80s music...